I think that i need to get away from this terrible place, i think that i deserve better. I also think that i need to stop... I need to stop caring so much, and stop being so god damn forgiving. By nature i fall too hard too fast. This has shown to be one of my worst flaws. Another one of my flaws is that i tend to hurt the people around me that care the most. I see examples of this everyday. It kills me to see what I'm doing, but no matter how hard i try it is impossible to make everyone happy. I have a hard enough time trying to keep myself happy. It has turned out to be a really hard thing to do. But as long as i keep myself busy, my mind doesn't wonder. And when my mind doesn't wonder i do alright. Band practice has shown to be the work of the devil.
As much as i don't want to be there, i feel for some reason that i should be there. I know that Shawn appreciates it when I'm there. And plus i enjoy spending time with my friends, and supporting AWY.
So maybe it will take a while before im actualy okay. But thats normal...
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